People are usually different than they appear to be. My Mother-in-law told me that even though I was a 'non-believer', she thought I'd make a really good Christian. A co-worker stated in all seriousness that I was the gayest straight man she'd ever known.
In both cases, I took those statements in the same way they were offered - as compliments, with appreciation and gratitude.
I'm a cisgender heterosexual male. I didn't choose that condition... I just am. During early gestation in Mom's belly, I had an equal chance of being male or female, and only a rise in testosterone over estrogen sent me on the path towards maleness. I also had the nascent beginnings of both male and female genitalia, eventually set by the aforementioned rise in testosterone.
During my belly time, Nature could have caused the estrogen hormone to gain traction instead of testosterone, with the result being a female me. Nature could also have very easily created a cocktail of both estrogen and testosterone, shaken (and not stirred) it, thus impacting the formative me and how I would pop outta Mom's oven, irrespective of which set of genitalia would eventually develop.
These are scientific facts. EVERYONE starts out this way.
These scientific facts have nothing to do with ideology or belief. They have nothing to do with who or what my parents were, how I was raised, the books I read in Grade school, or the people I knew and dated in high school and college.
Well-educated people understand that our knowledge of science can be misinterpreted, misunderstood and/or imperfect. During the Middle Ages, scholars proclaimed that humans were solid inside like a potato. Trepanation was used for millennia to resolve all kinds of physical and mental ailments. Modern medicines and vaccines are lifesaving miracles of science but can also have serious, life-altering side effects.
Luckily, we now have an expanded view on the science of life, and for the most part accept the foundational aspects about how and why we are who and what we are. However, there are many among us who can't accept that Nature... like science... is sometimes fickle and imperfect and doesn't always operate within the commonly-accepted parameters.
Science also tells us that sexuality and gender are not the same thing.
It's no one's fault. Science... like Nature... is sometimes fickle and imperfect and doesn't operate within the commonly-accepted parameters.
I highlight these gestational issues because they've been on my mind lately, the result of a national (international?) hysteria over what defines a male or a female, the difference between sexuality and gender, whose definitions are correct or not, and why it doesn't really matter in any substantive way.
The Point (Vinyl LP 1970; Film 1971)
Jazz Hands
I was a Drama geek in high school but was clueless about gay folks. It wasn't until my first year in Junior College (1974) that I had many gay classmates at school and in the Theater Arts Department. My exposure to their reality was, in a word, dramatic.
Neil was a tall gay ginger in Theater Arts, and he was the first 'out' gay person I'd ever met, totally flamboyant and exuberant. I enjoyed his dark sense of humor during convos when we'd all gather in the Green Room. When he learned that I'd been an Indian Dancer in Boy Scouts, he suggested that I take a class in Modern Jazz Dance like he was to strengthen my stage chops. I took his advice and registered for the following semester.
Neil and his partner hosted a house party one Saturday night and invited everyone. At first I was a bit nervous about going to a gay party, but it turned out to be as raucous and fun as any other college party and I danced, drank and laughed a lot. I had a blast... these were my kind of people!
On my first day of dance class, I quickly learned two things. First, Neil was a semester ahead of me and wouldn't be in the same class, so I was the only guy in a studio full of women! Second, the instructor said I needed to wear a leotard. After much pleading, she agreed to let me wear cutoff sweatpants and a tank-top instead. WHEW!
The stretching and warm-ups at the start of each class were accompanied by the Chi-Lites tune 'Oh Girl', and every time I hear it now, I think of that room of languidly-stretching humans.
Dance class really helped me with stage presence and smooth, sure movement. One night after taking a date to see a play at school, she demanded that I perform my dance class routine in her driveway, which I nailed while lit by the headlights of my Triumph TR4A. Although this all happened a lifetime ago, I'll always be grateful to Neil for convincing me to take the class, which also helped in my later career as an automotive technical training specialist, where I performed over 200 classes, presentations and speeches.
My programs were NEVER boring!
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Dad taught me that everyone is important... that everyone matters, regardless of who or what they are. My Boy Scout experience taught me to treat others with the honesty and respect they deserve, regardless of who or what they are. My life has been filled with all kinds of people, many who were and are part of the LGBTQ+ milieu, and in almost every case I've become a better person for having them in my life.
Whomever a person chooses to love and/or spend their life with, or how they choose to present themselves to the world are deeply personal decisions, and it shouldn't matter what others think about it. Sadly, in 2023 it's become an issue for some with power and influence who try to mandate and legislate human behavior and interpersonal relationships based on their own narrow-minded vision and beliefs, along with their willfully ignorant confusion about sexuality and gender.
Don't be like them, because they're as wrong as they can be. It's really not their fault. Humans... like nature and science... are fickle and imperfect and don't always operate within the commonly-accepted parameters of behavior.
"It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first." - Miyamoto Musashi, swordsman and philosopher - 1584-1645
