"That Is Not My Dog."

I like dogs. Dogs are cool.  

For some reason, dogs are generally drawn to me in a way which can surprise their owners.

"Wow", they'll say... "Spartacus normally doesn't like ANYONE but he seemed to like you enough not to rip you to shreds when you tried to pet him!"

Thanks, Spartacus.

I mention this up front because my next statement tends to piss off dog owners: I really really DO NOT like it when people bring their dogs into places where I'm shopping. This has become a real issue with me lately, and dog owners are aghast and offended when I say how much I wish they'd left Spartacus (or Muffy or Champ or Weensie) at home or in the car instead of dragging them into the store where I'm at.

I remember about fifteen years ago when this phenomenon first became visible here in Orange County (CA) at a notoriously high-end outdoor shopping mall in Newport Beach. First one store, then another and another, starting putting out bowls of water for animals being walked by their owners.

OK, fine... that seems reasonable for the pet owners walking their expensive purebred hounds at an outdoor mall. 

Over time, the water bowls were placed inside the store entrances as a way to get the owners inside the store.  Then all of a sudden, people were bringing their dogs with them while they shopped.

I was horrified at this turn of events.

When did it become OK for people to bring dogs into stores? Once again, I understand a retail shop trying to get customers with dogs into the store, but what about the rest of us?

I'm standing in the 'Just Socks' aisle looking for some wool lederhosen and in you walk with your Doberman (or Chihuahua or Dachshund) on a leash, oblivious to the fact that I may not like dogs or may be allergic to dogs or, even worse, that you dog may not like me or my smell.

I don't know you or your dog, and your dog certainly doesn't know me. What makes you think your dog won't walk by me, dislike something about my clothing or scent or proximity, freak out and bite me?

You don't know and you won't be able to stop them. And that's the problem.

Oh sure... Muffy would NEEEEVER bite someone! She's a good dog!

But Muffy is a dog, and sometimes dogs simply don't like someone and if that person is close enough, the biting begins.



While working my part-time Lot Geek gig at The Home Depot, I notice that many customers bring their dogs of all sizes into the store, which the store seems to be OK with. What gets me are those who put dogs into the shopping baskets, with some actually putting a blanket or dog bed into the basket and then placing Weensie in there too.

If there was ever a reason to regularly disinfect shopping baskets, dog blankets/beds/ass would be one of them

So... OK, I get it.  People love their dogs and take them almost everywhere. But dogs aren't universally loving of other humans, and sometimes they'll chomp down on an unsuspecting human's hand and then a very awkward situation begins. That's because they're DOGS. 

I use the 'dog bites man for no apparent reason' example to highlight the fact that sometimes, humans react to other humans just like dogs do (heh heh heh... dog doo... get it?).

Sometimes, a human simply does not like another human, and for no apparent reason. I recently came face-to-face with this situation in the office where I worked for eight months before getting laid off due to a business downturn.

I'd only been working there a few weeks when they hired a guy temporarily to be our truck driver. He was the future son-in-law of the company CFO and was living with his fiancee' in the CFO's home. The guy had been chronically unemployed, having been fired from a local petting zoo, Home Depot and Disneyland (I swear this is true).

When we initially engaged, he seemed strangely quiet and standoffish, which the CFO said was his normal M.O. as he was very shy and reserved.

However, after a few weeks of putting on my best 'supportive co-worker' face, he wouldn't speak to me and was becoming uncooperative and antagonistic, not consulting me on projects that were my responsibility and going instead to his future Mother-in-law (FMIL) for guidance.

The guy simply did not like me. No reason, no rationale... he never spoke to me. Somehow he'd decided I was the enemy and he would refuse to engage or even acknowledge my existence. The kidz call that 'cancelling out' or 'ghosting' someone... he'd walk in and I'd say "Good Morning" and he'd walk right by, looking straight ahead, ignoring my greeting as if I was invisible.

Very weird.

Then one morning, our off-site Office Manager (I know, I know) requested that I inspect the day's deliveries once the driver had loaded the truck because there'd been 'problems'. I asked the driver to please delay his departure until I had a chance to review the load. 

He went berserk.

He started yelling that there was no reason for me to check his load, and when I told him I was only following orders, he called me a liar. When I climbed up into the truck to begin the inspection, he screamed:

"I DON'T LIKE YOU!! I DON'T LIKE WORKING WITH YOU!! I HATE YOU!! I DON'T RESPECT YOU!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

I asked him please to tell me why he felt that way. Instead of answering, he raced back into the office to complain to his FMIL. I finished my inspection, went inside and while he was complaining away, told him the load looked great and thanks for waiting. He glared at me and left without a word.

A few minutes later, I went in and explained to the CFO what had happened and that I had tried everything possible to engage with the driver.  She said it was inexplicable and that she'd try to reason with him.

That's the last time she ever mentioned it.

Over the final months I spent employed there, the driver's immature behavior caused us all lots of extra work and effort because he refused to follow office protocol for documentation and reporting. His behavior only got worse, so when we lost a million-dollar client and I was told I'd be laid off, I was actually very relieved.

I'll bet he's still working there, also too.

Because I have lots of miles on my odometer, I never once sank to his level of behavior, antagonism or immaturity. I never yelled at or argued with him, was always upbeat and supportive, and did my level-best to make the best of a horrific situation. In the end, it didn't matter but at least I KNOW that I tried, dammit... at least I tried.

What DID bother me was that never... not even once... in my professional career had I encountered a negative co-worker situation that I wasn't able to diffuse and turn around. In fact, I've had the ability to gain the trust of co-workers who were otherwise reviled by everyone else, a gift that I've always been thankful for.

Our current National 2020 Viral Semi-Apocalypse is creating a shit-ton of misery for most regular 'Murricans. One positive side-effect is that for the most part, people standing in lines to buy toilet paper are in upbeat moods, open and talkative across the 6-foot 'social-distancing prerogative', and exuding the classic 'We're all in this together' spirit that gives me faith in human nature.

I know there have been reports of clashes in cues and guns drawn over who gets the last of the Charmin, but overall we hoomans are getting along pretty damned good, helping others in need and lifting each other up when necessary.

We can continue biting each other later... for now, I'll pet Spartacus without fear and be grateful for a shelf full of butt-wipe.

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -- Herm Albright



Lead image, Gracias de Google Images; 'Inspector Clouseau' and 'The Stooges' videos, Muchismas Gracias de YouTube.