I first learned about the Four Commandments as a high school Freshman taking a Senior-level Cultural Anthropology class in 1970. Thanks to my Junior High school Science teacher and so-called 'high scholastic potential', I was able to take the class as part of the MGM (Mentally Gifted Minor) curriculum.
You know... science geeks.
On the first day of high school, I entered that classroom and was confronted by a large pile of desks in the middle of the room, with other students standing along the walls or sitting on the floor. Eventually the room filled up and the bell rang, but no teacher was in sight.
After a few uneasy minutes looking at the desk pile, I decided (as a stupid Freshman and Boy Scout) to start pulling desks off the pile and setting them upright so the girls had a place to sit. Some of the other guys did the same thing, and in five minutes all the desks were righted and fashioned into a ragged semi-circle facing the chalkboard, with everyone seated.
A few moments later, teacher Alan Eggleston walks in and mock-berated us for being soooo programmed and conditioned by society that we subconsciously set up the room in the culturally-acceptable schoolroom format. That first day of class set the tone for the next two semesters of a fantastic educational experience.
Mr. Eggleston's class was an eye-opener for me, but the Four Commandments I learned wasn't from the class per se. Rather, it was from a few issues of 'National Lampoon' Magazine that a classmate loaned me to read.
One of them had a satirical article about modern society under the Nixon Administration, how the Vietnam War would last forever, and that many young American males had decided to go full-nihilist and follow four simple lifestyle rules to protest their new role as draftable cannon fodder:
1. Eat it. 2. Smoke it. 3. Fuck it. 4. Break it.
This totally cracked me up, and National Lampoon became a reading staple for me through high school, college and beyond.
Fast-forward to the latter stages of 2024 and the alarming results of the recent Presidential election.
There's lots of blame going around about how this happened, but it really doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that while over 150 million people cast ballots this year, almost 100 million eligible voters didn't even bother to vote. That fact seems to have slid by almost unnoticed, but I think it may be the most important.
Why don't all those people vote? After much consideration, I have a plausible answer: they simply don't care that much about voting, the single most-important role every American citizen must play in a functioning democracy. That leads to the next question: why don't they care about voting? IMHO, that's an easy one to answer.
They don't vote because they have little to no understanding about why it's such an important aspect of our civic duty as American citizens. Big 'D' Democracy has no discernible meaning or impact in their lives, so they blow off voting because they CAN... no biggie, right?
That's a direct link to the new Four Commandments. The old Ten Commandments are officially null and void, especially considering the character of the person who'll be running the Gummint starting in January 2025.
A large swath of Americans aren't invested in voting because they know almost nothing about why they need to know. We've allowed an entire generation of students to graduate from high school without a basic knowledge of U.S. history, government, or civic responsibility.
A high school Diploma is no longer a guarantee that Graduating Seniors have a clue about how and why their government works. It doesn't really matter to them one way or the other, because what they don't know is a lot.
The Four Commandments:
1. Eat it: consume whatever you want, as much as you want, whenever you want, no matter what it is. Deny yourself nothing, make sure you get yours and to hell with everyone else.
2. Smoke it: tune out and turn off reality in any and every way possible. Ignore anything that doesn't specifically impact your life. Become a slave to the digital algorithm overlords and dig your individual rabbit hole to live in. Nothing matters if you can't/don't/won't see it.
3. Fuck it: Screw anything that moves, physically or otherwise. Use it up, burn it out, wear it out, make it yours and no one else's because why not? If your individual wants and needs are fulfilled, WINNER!
4. Break it: If you don't like something, go ahead and destroy it as long as it doesn't directly impact your life. Zero-sum game, baby. If someone else gains, you lose... so make sure you break it and at least THEY won't get it.
These are self-inflicted conditions that have festered for decades. High schools have become teen babysitting factories that generally produces barely-educated, non-reading, clueless adults to be sucked into the labor pool that needs (for now, anyways) placid and compliant worker drones to create wealth for the monied oligarchs. Is that harsh? Boo hoo, too bad, so sad.
"If a Nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be." - Thomas Jefferson
The solution: begin at the beginning. Rethink the way we teach all students about their civic responsibility as citizens. Make it matter. Raise the level of American History and U.S. Government studies in every public Grade and High school in the country to the same level we now focus on digital skills and sports. With that fundamental knowledge in their brain's soft drive, at least they'll know why their vote is important when they reach voting age.
Note: this is not indoctrination - it's education. This is what public schools are supposed to do.
Maintain a high level of Civics education all through high school. If a student can be a Letterman in Football or Wrestling, why not a similar achievement award for U.S. History or Citizenship? Aren't those areas at least as important to incentivize as sports?
Prior to graduating, every high school Senior must also pass the same random 10-question test that every immigrant must pass to gain U.S. Citizenship. As I mentioned before, a high school Diploma is no longer a guarantee that the Graduate has a clue about how and why their government works. I firmly believe this kind of foundational knowledge will resonate with students for the rest of their lives.
Question: do you think our newly-elected POTUS could pass the U.S. Citizenship test? Could you? Just for giggles, here's a link to that test:
https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/document/questions-and-answers/100q.pdf
As as nation, we're already past the tipping point when it comes to the lack of civic knowledge held by a large number of citizens. Starting that Civics education as early as possible will eventually reap benefits towards everyone's future as an engaged voter. Not doing so will only ensure that we continue to devolve into the turgid mass of compliant drones the oligarchs demand.
"The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next." - Abraham Lincoln.
DEVO was right all along.
Yeah... I know. The chances of changing school curriculums to focus more broadly on U.S. Government and American History has about the same chance as the Bible being taught in public schools or a convicted felon being elected to be President hahahahaha. Oh... wait.
Thanks to the many excellent educators I've had in my life, I have a love for history, the machinations of government, the complexity of culture, the mysteries of the physical universe and an everlasting fascination with the vagaries of human behavior. I believe educators should be among the highest-paid people in the country. Perhaps someday they will be, and our citizens will once again honor the hard work and wisdom required to teach the Yoots.
Until then... well, those desks aren't gonna unstack themselves, right?
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